I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
