Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
