You really coming over, don't trick.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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