so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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