You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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