He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
