drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
