I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
