Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
