they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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