Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think a kid would responsible me up
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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