i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
