they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
And then he peed in my hair
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