went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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