Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
