i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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