Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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