I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
