I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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