Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
