sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
