I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
