Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dick very happy bro
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
