watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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