i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
