3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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