why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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