dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
