Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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