I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
