I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
