yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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