Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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