At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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