Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize