Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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