You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
