weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
