I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
