Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize