please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
