I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
