I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize