I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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