How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
