Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
