come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
