He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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