Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Randomize
