I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Come see our sink grown plant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
