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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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