is your mom at the bar?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
