I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
