the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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