I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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