Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
