About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
