Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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