the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
